Taking back your power

Sometimes we hear from our supportive friends that it is important to take back your power.  This may be power you have relinquished to relative or romantic partner. You probably didn’t even know you did it.  It is not uncommon.  This is not an exclusively female problem, even though it is very predominant among this group.   Some of us have given up our power to a parent. Some may have given up our power to a lover.   No matter who you are, you might feel that you could stand up to someone in your lives.

People can rob you of your power at work. You could have demanding clients or customers or coworkers.  You have probably dealt with a supervisor who has  tried to take your power.

So how do you fix this?

Know when you are giving it away

An excellent way to keeping control over your power is to be aware of your part in everything.Be aware of when you are about to give away your power. If you often leave decisions to others or leave it up to someone else to give you directions, you are handing the reigns of your life to someone else.   This action may also be accompanied by a regretful, resentful feeling.

Passivity and indecisiveness gives away your power. Sometimes you have to let go for a legitimate reason.  Just be watchful.

Know the facts

If you find yourself looking over an event where you think you should have handled things differently, ask yourself what truly happened in that situation.   If it is a situation with a relative, see where things fell apart. Chances are that this  behavior follows a pattern.  Please take note so you can avoid this in the future.

Own it

An excellent way to keeping control over your power is to be aware of your part in everything. Once you know your flaws and weaknesses you can be fully on your mark when you meet with a potential power taker.  You can be honest with them, in fact, you should.  This will keep you from getting into a blame/victim cycle.  Be strong for yourself.

Let others own their power as well

Being aware of your power does not mean that you have to take charge of an entire challenge.   Take ownership of your part, and let them take charge of their own.  A true partnership will flourish with this honesty.  But what if the balance starts to shift?  Take a break. Be honest. Ask questions. Get them to take a moment to breathe and calm down. You don’t have to engage, but it would be helpful if you listen.

You are not responsible for how others feel.  This doesn’t mean that you can be overly aggressive  and mean, but in normal situations, you don’t have to be guilty when you are not at fault.

You don’t have to compete

Once you get in the habit of owning your power, you may start feel like you can conquer the world. This does not mean you have to display your new found power in an aggressive competition with the world. Remember that boundaries are important, but they aren’t everything.

Create compassion and self-love

Once we start  on a path to a good communication we begin to love ourselves a little more. This will only increase as we see our self-worth.   Once we have all of that in place for ourselves, we can extend this to others.  Loving yourself creates love and appreciation for others.

Your improved empathy can help encourage others. Once you lead by this example, others will fall in place.   This will create a better world for everyone.   It will take time and practice, but have faith in yourself as you move on your life journey.

Author: Toria Peters

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