You have to stop caring less than what people want you to care about.  We take every problem on our shoulders because we want to see the world become a better place and we end up making ourselves stressed out and unhappy.  Here are some ways to free your mental load.

Care What You Think

There has to be a time when you begin to care about what you feel and what you think.  Stop letting everyone make decisions about you.  People want to judge you and you need to stop caring.  You can define who you are and so let people talk if it makes them happy.  Stop caring what everyone else thinks and care about what you think.


Everyone makes mistakes and messes up.  Life goes on and we learn.  Stop being so hard on yourself and accept that people mess up sometimes.  You have to be able to allow yourself room to make mistakes.  Learn to forgive yourself and what you do.


Everyone is afraid of failing and when you fail, what happens next depends on your attitude.  Do you think that you will be perfect?  Do you plan on being miserable if you make a mistake and giving up on yourself?  Be realistic and know that failing is a part of life but being a failure is when you give up.  Allow yourself a chance to mess up and move on.

Let it Go

People look at what they have and don’t have and sometimes they let it define who they are.  There has t o be a point where we learn to focus on the good things in our lives and get rid of the negative feelings and what we don’t have.  Why would you want to be down on yourself for things that you don’t have?  This kind of thinking will get you nowhere and you will always have less than what others have and you will also always have more than someone.

So What?

People can drive themselves crazy by worrying about what might happen in the future.  No one can tell you what your future holds and so there is no point in making yourself stressed over what you don’t know.  Things you think of may never come to pass so you have to stop worrying about everything.  Face worry when it is time to face it and otherwise, be happy.

Happy Thoughts

We have to learn to think happy thoughts in order to be happy.  If an even happens that causes unhappiness, then don’t waste your whole time worrying about it.  Learn to take the happy times and to make the most out of life.  Decide that you will be happy now and do it.

Forget the Regrets

We all have regrets, and this is part of life.  The past cannot be changed, and you have to look to the future for what is to come.  Have you learned something from your mistakes?  Try to take a positive approach to this and to learn from what you have messed up on, allow yourself to make mistakes.

Knowing Rejection

Most everyone knows about rejection and being intimate with someone always comes with risks of being rejected.  When you are out of your comfort zone, chances are you are being vulnerable, and you risk someone hurting you or rejecting you.  You cannot let the fear of rejection hold you back.  You have to be able to get over this fear and see if the outcome can be better than you hoped it would be.  Have thick skin and be brave and see where life takes you.


Don’t follow the expectations that everyone sets for you.  Be who you are and be happy with it.  Accept your faults and all the great things about yourself.  You don’t have to prove who you are to anyone.  Even though people and the media are always telling you who you should be, be who you are and don’t buy into the idea of perfection, no one is perfect.

We will never look perfect or be perfect and so you need to keep your sight on being loving and kind.  Let yourself and your imperfections shine.

Good Enough

It’s easy to feel that you are not good enough and that you don’t measure up to everyone else.  It is okay not to be the same as someone and to always be growing as to who you are.  It becomes unhealthy when you only can think of negative things about yourself and you feel that you aren’t good enough for anyone.

What really does being good enough mean?  What tells us what is good enough and what matters?

We all worry that we are not good enough but you have to remove the negative thoughts from your mindset and learn to be carefree and to love yourself.

Do you feel that you lack self-esteem?  Here are some ways that you can learn to challenge yourself and build your self-esteem.

  • Get rid of bad thoughts.
  • Self-care.
  • Relax
  • Set attainable goals.
  • Help others.
  • Look at things a different way.
  • Try new adventures.
  • Be with people that make you feel good about yourself.
  • Self-acceptance.
  • Find things that make you feel good.

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself and the thoughts that you have in everything that you do.  When you have a good self-esteem then you will be healthy and make positive choices in your life.  You will love who you are as a person and you will be able to deal with other people and have good relationships.

Most people have felt the negative effects of self-esteem at some point in their lives.  The problem with having low self-esteem is that it can affect your mental health and make you not be able to make good decisions in your life.

When you are negative and down on yourself, you will find that you are not in a healthy place.  This can include:

  • Staying way from situations that are hard.
  • Being sensitive when people criticize you.
  • Being stressed and anxious.
  • Staying away from social interactions.
  • Not having trust in others or yourself.

You must learn to believe that you can change and that you can improve your self-esteem.

Challenge Yourself

Stop being negative and replace this with positive thoughts.  Write down things that you do good and things you are good at.  This list will help you realize you have many positive things.


You must eat well and be healthy.  Take an exercise class to increase your mood.  Stimulate your body so that you can feel better about who you are.  This can get rid of stress and boost your self-esteem.

Take Time to Relax

Learn to relax and take out some of the stress of your life.  When you are tired, you don’t feel good and you have more negative thoughts.  This can cause you to have lower self-esteem.

Find something relaxing that you like to do such as taking a bath or dancing.  Find what makes you happy.

Set Attainable Goals

Find goals that will be realistic for you.  Keep track of what you want to do and how you have gotten there.  Finish something you have started or start something new and see it all the way though.

You will feel much less stress when you accomplish something that you put on your list.  Don’t get a list that is too big that you can’t get through.  Make smaller list that you can accomplish.

Help Others

One of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to help someone who is struggling with everything.  Give them some advice or do something to help them out.  Your confidence will be boosted when you help others and don’t want something in return.

Look at things Differently

Look at situations that are hard from a different perspective.  Try it and see if you can accomplish it.  Look at it through a different angle and lens and see what you can do.  Sometimes, you have to just be more positive.

When you get rid of your negative thinking, you will see that you can be more positive, and you can think about different ways to overcome your problems.

Try Something New

Let your brain show you things that you are good at.  The better you get at things, the more likely you will love doing it.  Find something creative to do like painting or playing an instrument.  Cook or get into computer science.  Find something you are good at and learn to love it.

Find Good People

When your friends don’t make you feel good about who you are, find other people to be around that appreciate you.  These don’t need to even be your friends or family, find a neighbor or someone else that you know.

If your friends don’t help you to feel better, see if they are toxic and learn to distance yourself from them.  It can be hard, but this is the best idea if they are not helping to make you a better person.

Accept Who You Are

You have to learn to accept that you are not a perfect person, no one is.  You will have flaws and problems and you have to learn to accept them.  These differences make you unique and that is how you have to learn to accept who you are.  Learn to be confident and allow people to complement you and love you.

Find What Makes You Feel Good

Find things that make you feel good about who you are.  Make a wall hanging of all the things you have accomplished.  Put up pictures of your friends.  Capture moments that are positive and that give you good self-esteem.

Still Struggling?

It is normal to feel bad about yourself from time to time, but you have to make sure these feelings don’t last.  If they do, they can cause you to have low self-esteem.  You have to look for signs that can help build you up and not tear you down.  Learn to be confident and to overcome your low-self-esteem.  Love yourself the way that you are and learn to embrace your differences.

Improving Your Self-Esteem

If you want to improve your self-esteem, surround yourself with people that make you happy.  Understand that we are not perfect.

Building Confidence

You can build confidence by not comparing yourself to others.  Change your thoughts and think more positively about yourself.

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

Stay away from situations that make you feel that you are not good enough or that bring you anxiety.  Learn to trust yourself and to find good situations to be in.

In romantic relationships, it can feel as though things move at light speed. You start dating, and it feels like mere moments have passed but you’ve been committed to each other for years.

Since things move quickly, it’s important to genuinely know your true self before you start a relationship. It helps to keep track of yourself and your goals and to enter the partnership as a complete, well-rounded person who can contribute equally to the relationship. Life isn’t just about you anymore, so it’s good to know your communication style, what your weaknesses are, how you handle finances, if you’re good at compromising, and so on.

Knowing such things about yourself before you get into a relationship contributes significantly to the health of the relationship, and keep communication lines open with your partner. Knowing yourself also helps you make sure you get what you need from your partner, and saves you from getting mired in a toxic situation.

Here are ten questions to ask yourself to help you get to know yourself better and figure out what’s most important to you:

  1. What are your goals for the relationship?

Before you enter the dating scene, list the traits that describe your ideal partner. The beginning of a new relationship can be exciting. It’s easy to get swept away in the moment and lose sight of the goals you have for yourself and the relationship. Outlining your goals can help you focus on finding the right partner to share them with you.

  1. What would be deal breakers in the relationship?

Similarly, you need to clearly define and list any relationship deal breakers. Would you date a smoker? Do you want kids someday? What are your views on cheating? If you aren’t conscious of your deal-breakers, or can’t communicate about them clearly, you may inadvertently give up on things you really needed and wanted.

  1. What is your attachment style?

There are four different attachment styles. It’s good to know what yours is before you attempt to partner up. Here are short descriptions of the styles:

  • Securely attached people are satisfied in their relationships. They easily form connections and easily reach out for comfort.
  • Anxiously attached people worry about their relationships. They have unattainable standards of love and can become clingy or possessive when they fear they’ll lose their partner.
  • Avoidant attachers maintain distance from their partners. They process their emotions on their own and may emotionally shut down during arguments.
  • Fearfully attached people are easily overwhelmed and their moods are unpredictable. They may swing from smothering their partner to disappearing for days with no explanation.

Evaluating past relationships to identify your weak spots will help you prepare for healthier attachments in future relationships.

  1. Are you emotionally ready for a relationship?

It’s necessary to give yourself time after a long-term or emotionally charged relationship before entering into a new one. Give yourself enough time to evaluate the shortcomings of the previous relationship and to heal. Reflect on your role in the break-up, and think about what behaviors, frustrations, and fights that contributed to the relationship’s demise. This will help you avoid the same pitfalls as you move forward.

  1. What are your strengths?

It’s good to identify your strengths before getting into a new romantic relationship. List the positive elements you bring to a relationship and have confidence you’ll contribute to its maturity and growth.

  1. What are your weaknesses?

It’s also important to identify the weaknesses you may bring to a relationship. But don’t just evaluate your shortcomings and areas of weakness. Formulate a plan to grow into a stronger and more well-rounded person. This will boost the chances that your relationship will be healthy.

  1. Are you introverted or extroverted?

Introverts generally process things internally and need to take time to themselves throughout their days. Their energy is drained in social settings. Extroverts generally process things externally and need to talk through what they’re thinking about. Social settings tend to recharge their energy. It’s possible for relationships to work with any combination of introverted and extroverted partners. However, you should still figure out which category you fit into. Knowing your tendencies will help you successfully navigate social situations together while keeping you and your partner content.

  1. How do you spend money?

Financial issues really do have the power to make or break relationships. So, the more you know about your spending and saving habits, the better. If the relationship gets serious, having a clear understanding of how each partner feels about money can help partners more seamlessly merge their accounts should the relationship reach that stage.

  1. Can you compromise, and when?

Compromise is necessary for any healthy relationship. So, it helps to go into a relationship knowing your boundaries and your deal-breakers. Don’t ever allow yourself to be forced to cave in on things that are important to you. But compromise will be necessary. Are you able to consider arriving at mutually agreeable understandings or agreements? If not, you probably aren’t ready to be in a committed relationship.

  1. What are your core values?

When it comes to a long-term relationship, which core values do you feel are the most important? Identifying your core values and living by them is essential to your well-being and your happiness. Your partner isn’t perfect, and neither are you. But you can hold out for the traits you consider important in a potential partner.

Self-reflection and get to know your true self before you enter a relationship. If you take the time to do this, the relationship will be healthier for both you and your partner.