Everyone has been manipulated at one time or another and no one wants to feel that they are manipulative to others. Some behaviors that people have are very common and some do not even realize it is manipulation. Maybe you use emotional coercion, and you don’t even realize it.

The way that we communicate takes on different forms and when we have subtle behaviors or silence, it can cause someone to have conversations without really addressing the situation. It is a strategic way that people talk and when you put someone else’s needs over your own, this can be hard to deal with.

One of the problems with having indirect communication is that it can cause problems in all of your relationships including your partner, family, and friends. When someone always has manipulative behaviors, it can lead to hurt and pain and can cause people to leave your life even if they don’t want to. This kind of behavior can lead to resentment.

Here are some habits that you might be doing and never even realize it. Open your eyes and help to save your relationships:

But Wouldn’t You?

One manipulative behavior that people have is pretending to make innocent suggestions. When a person says something without expressing what they are really meaning, this can be manipulation. Putting your own ideas and thoughts out there when you know someone else doesn’t feel the same is being manipulative. Ask the questions such as, “I want this, do you?” instead of saying, “Don’t you want this?”

Up to You

Another habit that many people have is pretending that you are giving someone a choice but putting your own opinion in your question. This shows that you are really making the choice and are not really giving the other person a chance to have their way.

Giving someone a choice when you want them to do something you want is being coercive. An example of this is, “I am wanting to watch this move, what do you want to watch?”


Do you ever have someone that is always forgetting to do something they are supposed to do? This can be a partner that “forgets” to do part of the chores and leaves you having to pick up the slack even when you are tired.

Of course, you should never pressure someone into doing something indirectly or make them feel guilty because this will be ineffective. Just ask them for help.

If you are always leaving things for your partner to do or for your co-workers to do and you are slacking on doing your part, you are being manipulative. Be honest with them and communicate why you are not getting things done.

Making Promises

Promising things that you cannot do is another manipulative habit. This happens because you want to please everyone, but you never follow through and it always leads to disappointment.

Doing this can make your friend or partner feel disappointed and angry and make you come across as a liar. If you don’t want to do something, just say so.

Do It Myself

Acting like you are a martyr is another form of manipulation. If you are pressuring someone into doing something and you say you will do it yourself to make them feel guilty, this is wrong.

Figure out a better way to ask them to do something and be straightforward with what you need.


Saying nothing or giving someone the silent treatment is also a form of manipulation. When you are upset or angry, or you feel that someone has hurt you or mistreated you, not discussing it is wrong as well.

This needs to be broken down and you need to talk about it and there needs to be an apology. If you need time to be by yourself and cool down, that is okay, but it shouldn’t be much time.

This kind of behavior usually comes from people that are hurt. People become manipulative when they are dealing it being hurt. If your partner or friend has a chance to explain their behavior and apologizes, then you will not have resentment later on in the relationship.

Always be careful how you talk to people and how you communicate your feelings.

Everyone feels broken sometimes. Sometimes you will find yourself alone and crying and wanting to be alone where there are other times where loneliness will be the last thing you want. You will learn to know that you have to find who you are and your true self and without that, you are nothing.

If you feel completely alone, chances are there will be grieving and mourning. This can come from a loss of someone you love or from heartbreak. You might be forced to pretend to be better, but you will see that you feel the same and that your life feels hopeless and alone.

Maybe you will lie to yourself and tell yourself that you can move forward. Maybe you will believe it.

You may go weeks and realize that you are dealing with a burden that is so heavy that you do not feel that you are strong enough to do it alone. There will be days where you feel so lonely and alone that you feel that you will never get those days back.

You will maybe realize that this is a different feeling than you ever had, and you are missing out on your life purpose and you are missing out on your happiness. You feel angry, short-tempered, and tired, you are depressed.

You finally tell yourself that you are not okay, and you realize that this is true.  You need to be set free and you need to realize that your uncomfortable feelings are taking over your life, making you feel vulnerable. You have to know that your emotions are there, and you have to face them.

You will want to believe that there is hope and even though you spent this week crying, next week you can reach the top and you can realize that you are beginning to heal. You have tears of sadness, but you also have tears of thankfulness.

You realize that you are not okay, and you allow yourself to accept this. Once you are able to be honest with your emotions, you can realize that you are able to appreciate who you are and accept yourself.

You will see that you can deal with your grief and that you do not need permission from others to express what you are feeling or to work through your feelings.

You are allowed to be who you are. You are allowed to be sad. You are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to be hurt.

You do not have to get better at a certain time. There is no time limit to how long your grief will last. You can become whole again when you learn to break first. Allow yourself to get out of your broken places and to become whole.

When you are faced with hard times in your life, it is okay to say that you are not okay. By doing this, you can learn to accept the truth and find a remedy in your life.

You can see that you can love who you are, and you can do this by facing your fears and your hurt head on. Do not let others tell you that you are not allowed to hurt.

You will thrive and do better when you allow yourself to go into a space that makes you love and care for yourself.

Learning to focus on your inner being and your external being is what can help to make you holistic in your mind and body. You have to learn to have good eating habits and fitness.

There are different areas in your life where you need to change, including your emotions. When you become stuck in your emotions, you begin to ignore them.

Here are some ideas that can help you to stop ignoring your emotions and to face them head on:

Quiet Place

Take time each day to have time for yourself. Learn to take quiet time and keep it special. Develop your hearing voice and your inner being.

Listen to what your mind and body are trying to tell you. Learn to get yourself unstuck and to heal and recover from whatever is holding you back.

Using these tools can help you to have a healthy and happy journey.

What Emotions?

Maybe you are not even aware of what you are feeling. If you sometimes feel anger and it seems to be deep, chances are this could be from loss or fear. Learn to figure out what you are feeling and why.

If you are unable to come up with your emotions or understand your actions, write them down each day and explore your inner being.

Identify Them

Once you know what you are feeling such as depression or stress, understand the other feelings that go with it. Uncover all of the emotions that you have and let the fresh air get to them.


When you take time to be quiet and pay attention to your body, you should be able to figure out many of your emotions. Now you can take time to change them.

Think About It

Once you have all of your emotions identified, take time to figure out what the root of your problems are. Take one emotion at a time and let it come to the surface.

Let the pain of this emotions come inside of you and know that you are doing this so that you can find freedom.

This will not be easy, and it can be quite painful, but it will give you happiness and peace in the end.

Take a Break

If you find that you are becoming overwhelmed with your quiet sessions, take a break. Knowing the cause and the root of your problems and emotions can bring up new emotions.

This can be hard and once you are close to healing; it can become overwhelming and stressful.  Never do this with people that you do not trust or that you think will judge you or guilt you.

Be protective of your own emotions and that is why it is important to take time for yourself.


Take time to do these sessions. You did not experience all of these emotions overnight and you do not have to heal them overnight.

Learn to understand what you have uncovered in your session and give yourself time to work through these feelings.

Do not be afraid. Use positive affirmations when you need to make decisions.

If you have been in an abusive relationship, for example, get out of it and be free. This can be hard and emotional at first, but the truth is, you are saving yourself and you are being very unselfish.

Overcoming Obstacles

Do not resist your feelings and do not make excuses for how others treat you. Take time for yourself and think about your relationships. Are they healthy? You have to be able to meet the needs of others, but you have to meet your own needs first.

Learn to have freedom and to heal. Learn to stop being destructive and find out how your healing can be beautiful and freeing.

Happiness does not have to do with things in life that we have but it has to do with how we can balance our harmony and our life energies.

Attending classes such as yoga that can help you to find a steady balance can help you to stop worrying and struggling so much. When you realize that you can balance your life and that no matter what your life has at the moment that you can focus and learn to be at peace.

Balancing your life is something we are always trying to do. Each day we look at our life and we wonder if it is out of control because of the busy things that we have going on and because of the future we are facing.

It takes time to balance who you are and to center your life and to stay calm and collected.

Here are some ways that you can learn to balance your life outside of yoga and meditation:


Learn to have faith and to take risks. Balancing your life means that you have to face hard things. You have to know your limit, but you have to push your limit. Keep your mind focused on who you are and give yourself to others. Do not always worry about your own needs.

Learn to do something great like take a yoga class. Do not worry how you will look but go for new things and this can help you in your mind and emotions.


Focus on what you want in your life. Get rid of distractions that hold you back. Care about who you are and do not let others bring you down. Make commitments and keep them and handle them from a place of peace.

Feel better and practice mindful yoga each day so that you can manage your life easier. Focus on what you want and what is important in your life.

Loosen It

Learn to loosen up and relax. Take deep breathes and learn the different movements. Learn to breathe and to practice moves that help you to be in control.

Whatever comes up in your life, do not be angry at yourself for missing it or for not being able to do it, but control how you feel.

Work hard and learn to calm down. Do not get frantic and learn to control your life on the yoga mat and in everyday situations.


We will all fall. Balancing is not easy, and we will fall, a lot. Some days you might have a hard time just standing. Learn to recognize that you are human and instead of being upset, learn to smile, and laugh at yourself.

You will progress through life and you will have your ups and downs. Even if you fall, remember that this is part of life and accept where you are today.

Get Back Up

This is one of the most important things in your life. When you fall, do not give up but get up. Learn to expect there to be failure but do not focus on the failure but the goal.

Balancing requires you to put in effort. When you put in effort everything will come together in your life. Learn to be mindful of what you want. Balancing your life means that you are working towards a life of courage and acceptance.

Learn to move forward and do not give up. Discover where your peace is and balance your life on the yoga mat and on your life.

Life might be hard; you might have a hard time getting things started or see that you have worked extra hard for something, but you do not feel like you will ever see success.

Maybe you are in school and you are in your last couple of weeks and you find that you are struggling to get a job or maybe even some other hardship.

Everyone has hard things happen to them and sometimes it seems easy to give up. Sometimes it is tempting to give up when things seem to be doing nothing but going wrong.

If you make mistakes and you learn to move forward, you can see that you can be successful, and you can reach your goals and dreams.

The truth is this is true for everyone. Here are some things you can do when you feel like giving up.


No one is successful overnight. We are human and for some reason, humans are very impatient. We push things to happen fast and then we let our hearts get hurt because we are not able to get things done the way we want them to. Sometimes you find that you are not able to reach the potential that you know that you have.

The truth is, you are successful, but you have to realize that success does not happen immediately. You have to understand that you have to fight hard, and you have to work your lifestyle to be determined to reach your goals.

You need to avoid working all the time and doing things that can cause you to be ill or to have unhealthy practices. Reaching your goals means that you have to slow down, take things one step at a time and allow the process to be fun and peaceful, You do not have to push yourself over the limit to reach your goals.


Everyone makes mistakes. You will make mistakes, and this does not make you a failure, but successful people make mistakes so that they can learn from things.

If you are having hard times, it does not mean it is because of mistakes, everyone makes them. Mistakes can happen because of things in the environment or so that we can learn from them. If you make a mistake, just work towards not letting it happen again. Learn from the past and move forward.

Hard Work

Work hard. No matter what path you are on, work hard to reach the end. Always be consistent with doing your best and allow yourself to go through change and to work hard.

Time will go on and you have to learn to try to get things accomplished. Even if you are uncomfortable or if you do not know what you are doing, keep pushing. If you need someone to talk to, find a mentor and work towards your journey with someone that can help you.

Find a network and look at your journey as a blessing. Find people that have the same goals as you and work with them and let them help you. Know that changes will come along the way and do not be afraid of working hard.

Everyone agrees it is a good thing to have positive self-esteem. You take on new projects, have a renewed enthusiasm, have more inner stability, and create opportunities for all the good things life brings.  You’ll be happier and more attractive to romantic interests.

But how do you get there?

There are some things you can do right now to improve your self-esteem. It’s not magic, but putting a little time into the work will have positive results in your life.

Here are 10 things you can do to improve your self-esteem:

  1. Put your inner critic in time out.

All of us have that inner voice that will tell us everything we’re doing is wrong. While sometimes that voice can stop you from making a big mistake, there are other times it is just flat-out destructive. Stop it before it gets too far into your mind. Remind yourself you will not listen to this voice and follow up that thought with a positive one.

For instance, if your inner view tells you are ugly, repeat out loud that you are a beautiful person inside and out. Keep saying it until you believe it.

  1. Set goals.

These aren’t necessary career or relationship goals but life goals. List out things you would like to do and set out to do them. Whether it’s learning pottery or taking a trip, you can find ways to work what you love into your life. Your confidence will grow as you achieve each goal.

  1. Take time to appreciate yourself.

Take a couple of minutes every day to reflect on your positive qualities. You should name three things that you like about yourself. They can be how you did something that day or some character qualities you possess. It’s okay to talk about your good qualities. Many people think that is not being humble, but recognizing your positive attributes is being real in an honest way.

  1. Do the right thing.

Doing the right thing, even when others aren’t looking, will build your self-esteem because you will appreciate the character you’ve shown. This way, even if others come against you, you can stand tall knowing that you have good character traits even if they don’t see them.

  1. End perfectionism.

Many people feel they have to be perfect to be worthy. You don’t! You were created worthy! Listening to your own perfectionist opinions will paralyze you and make you feel like you will never measure up. Sometimes good is good enough.

  1. Handle failures with grace.

Everyone makes mistakes but those who deny them and will not make the right aren’t people most want to be around. Those who own up to their failures, learn from them, and move on will do well in life.

There is no disgrace in failure. The only disgrace is in not getting back up after a failure. You can take pride in yourself that you overcame whatever mistakes or failings you’ve had.

  1. Accept others with kindness and grace.

Just as you are learning to accept yourself and all your flaws, all for that acceptance in other people too. As you learn that everyone is human, you will also learn that when you offer grace to others, you will find more for yourself.

  1. Take on something challenging.

It is always good to stretch our limitations and get out of our comfort zones. It makes us feel great when we accomplish something we didn’t know we could do. That could be running a marathon, rock climbing a wall, or learning a new language. Make it something you always want to do but are always afraid to try. You’ll love yourself for it!

  1. Quit comparing yourself to others.

This is one of the worst traps you can get into. First, no one is perfect. Second, many times the image others project isn’t realistic. Whether it is a picture of a magazine, that is likely photoshopped, or what they post on social media, an image can be different from reality. Remember, you have no idea what they are like at home or what they are going through.

If you remember these 10 tips and apply them, you will find that you are a pretty nice person to be with! Learning about yourself and learning to appreciate yourself will make you happier as well as gain you friends and opportunities.

People never tend to be sure where they lose themselves and what experiences that they have that cause them to feel lost or confused.  We have ups and downs and we forget to take time to be mindful of ourselves.  We forget to connect to ourselves and our universe and so we lack spiritually, emotionally and physically.

We find activities that help us to live a happy life but life and careers and hard work get int the way and we get caught up in things until we get to the point where we forget who we are and find that we feel empty and alone.

This is very common and there are a lot of reasons we can feel that way including the changes of life such as moving, getting a new career or even having a baby.  This draws your way from concentrating on who you are.

A new baby will be something that will take your attention and you find you aren’t sleeping or even feeling like you have time to breath.  You have a great life and your baby is beautiful, but you give up who you are because it is so cute.  You will notice that you will work hard, and it will take a long time to be yourself again.

If you stay at home and be a mom, you might later begin to feel empty.  You might feel that you have ignored your own needs and not really know who you are anymore.  Maybe you have been there for someone and now you don’t know if you are stuck or lost or if you are separate than who you sued to be.

Maybe you take care of your mom or dad or you are a housewife and take care of your family and you feel that you are always working on autopilot and you forget what normal is.


It is normal to realize that you are lost and there is nothing wrong with that, but you have to figure out who you are again.

Take moments each day to focus on yourself.  Do this by meditating and by having inner peace.  Use essential oils and other tools to open up your heart and your mind.

Find things to read and activities that allow you to be who you want to be. Take times to rediscover who you are.  Find yourself and have inner peace and realize that changes are worth it as long as they make you shine.

Learn to follow roads that are different than what you are used to doing.  Find actions that pull you in different directions and take your journey and start with your inner self and find out who you are in truth.

Find online blogs to read and inspirational books that can take you on different courses of life.  The great thing about this journey is that you can find out who you are all while you enjoy the path.

Take a time and figure out what you want, map out your life and your goals and find out what challenges you have.

Your challenges are things that you will want to explore and that you will want to take time to experience.  You can learn to enjoy the process of life and learn to find a way to get out of the way and get into your self and figure out who you are.

Above all, find happiness and peace along your journey.

Do you feel that you lack self-esteem?  Here are some ways that you can learn to challenge yourself and build your self-esteem.

  • Get rid of bad thoughts.
  • Self-care.
  • Relax
  • Set attainable goals.
  • Help others.
  • Look at things a different way.
  • Try new adventures.
  • Be with people that make you feel good about yourself.
  • Self-acceptance.
  • Find things that make you feel good.

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself and the thoughts that you have in everything that you do.  When you have a good self-esteem then you will be healthy and make positive choices in your life.  You will love who you are as a person and you will be able to deal with other people and have good relationships.

Most people have felt the negative effects of self-esteem at some point in their lives.  The problem with having low self-esteem is that it can affect your mental health and make you not be able to make good decisions in your life.

When you are negative and down on yourself, you will find that you are not in a healthy place.  This can include:

  • Staying way from situations that are hard.
  • Being sensitive when people criticize you.
  • Being stressed and anxious.
  • Staying away from social interactions.
  • Not having trust in others or yourself.

You must learn to believe that you can change and that you can improve your self-esteem.

Challenge Yourself

Stop being negative and replace this with positive thoughts.  Write down things that you do good and things you are good at.  This list will help you realize you have many positive things.


You must eat well and be healthy.  Take an exercise class to increase your mood.  Stimulate your body so that you can feel better about who you are.  This can get rid of stress and boost your self-esteem.

Take Time to Relax

Learn to relax and take out some of the stress of your life.  When you are tired, you don’t feel good and you have more negative thoughts.  This can cause you to have lower self-esteem.

Find something relaxing that you like to do such as taking a bath or dancing.  Find what makes you happy.

Set Attainable Goals

Find goals that will be realistic for you.  Keep track of what you want to do and how you have gotten there.  Finish something you have started or start something new and see it all the way though.

You will feel much less stress when you accomplish something that you put on your list.  Don’t get a list that is too big that you can’t get through.  Make smaller list that you can accomplish.

Help Others

One of the best ways to feel better about yourself is to help someone who is struggling with everything.  Give them some advice or do something to help them out.  Your confidence will be boosted when you help others and don’t want something in return.

Look at things Differently

Look at situations that are hard from a different perspective.  Try it and see if you can accomplish it.  Look at it through a different angle and lens and see what you can do.  Sometimes, you have to just be more positive.

When you get rid of your negative thinking, you will see that you can be more positive, and you can think about different ways to overcome your problems.

Try Something New

Let your brain show you things that you are good at.  The better you get at things, the more likely you will love doing it.  Find something creative to do like painting or playing an instrument.  Cook or get into computer science.  Find something you are good at and learn to love it.

Find Good People

When your friends don’t make you feel good about who you are, find other people to be around that appreciate you.  These don’t need to even be your friends or family, find a neighbor or someone else that you know.

If your friends don’t help you to feel better, see if they are toxic and learn to distance yourself from them.  It can be hard, but this is the best idea if they are not helping to make you a better person.

Accept Who You Are

You have to learn to accept that you are not a perfect person, no one is.  You will have flaws and problems and you have to learn to accept them.  These differences make you unique and that is how you have to learn to accept who you are.  Learn to be confident and allow people to complement you and love you.

Find What Makes You Feel Good

Find things that make you feel good about who you are.  Make a wall hanging of all the things you have accomplished.  Put up pictures of your friends.  Capture moments that are positive and that give you good self-esteem.

Still Struggling?

It is normal to feel bad about yourself from time to time, but you have to make sure these feelings don’t last.  If they do, they can cause you to have low self-esteem.  You have to look for signs that can help build you up and not tear you down.  Learn to be confident and to overcome your low-self-esteem.  Love yourself the way that you are and learn to embrace your differences.

Improving Your Self-Esteem

If you want to improve your self-esteem, surround yourself with people that make you happy.  Understand that we are not perfect.

Building Confidence

You can build confidence by not comparing yourself to others.  Change your thoughts and think more positively about yourself.

Signs of Low Self-Esteem

Stay away from situations that make you feel that you are not good enough or that bring you anxiety.  Learn to trust yourself and to find good situations to be in.