Be Happy Being Alone

Have you ever gotten all dolled up for a date only to have your date not show up? This will automatically bring up negative feelings and thoughts in your mind. Maybe you have these feelings and you need something to change your mindset.

There are many people that feel lonely and they are wanting to learn to be happy alone. This is something that all people need to be reminded of. Over life you will see that there are many people that are alone, and the problem is that some people absolutely hate to be alone, but it will happen to each of us at one point or another.

We are often afraid of being without people in our lives such as our family or our friends, even our partner. We get stressed when we have to do things alone or go to places that we have never went. We sometimes get to the point where we feel that someone has to hold our hand in all the things we do.

We worry about what life holds for us and we think we are not strong enough to endure the idea of being alone and having to do things for ourselves.

Being worried about being alone is a natural feeling because most people are resistant to the idea of being by themselves. We often will try to deny the idea of being alone because it brings about stress and aggravation.

If we want to avoid being alone, we will talk to whoever we can, whenever we can, go on dates, plan nights out or even marry someone that is wrong for us just so we don’t have to be alone. We want people in our lives to fill the void that we have when we are alone and if we have no one, we spend time finding other ways to fill our lives such as buying stuff or eating junk food.

The great thing is that you can turn your life around. You have to learn to be open minded and allow your mind to be aware and to learn to accept that being alone is not so bad.

People sometimes look as being alone such as being in jail and the truth is that solitude can free us and can actually give us the opportunity to find ourselves and to grow.

Most people have to learn this the hard way and they go through feelings of fear and worry so much about being alone but when it finally happens, they learn that this can be freeing and good. They learn to know who they are and spend time doing things that make them happy.

Being alone is not scary and it can be something that is good and beautiful. Here are some things that can happen when you accept being alone:

Become Stronger

When you are alone you learn to realize that you are stronger than you know. It can be scary to be alone at first but when you learn that scary things can help us to grow, we realize that situations will come and go.

Sometimes there are things we have to have happen so that we can grow and even if this is hard for us, it is better than being stuck in a situation that is hard or unhealthy.

It is better to be alone and to learn to take care of yourself than it is to sit around and worry about someone hurting you or leaving you. You can rely on people here and there but for the most part you need to become stronger.

You have to learn to balance things in your life such as your finances. Learn how to open a bank account and teach yourself to manager your money. Become self-sufficient in all areas of your life.

If you are worried about defending yourself then you can just learn to avoid places or things that are dangerous, or you can learn self-defense. The more confident you feel alone, the stronger you will be.

No matter what kind of skills you are lacking, learn to get stronger in them. You will be moving in the right direction when you learn that being alone can teach you things and help you to find your way.

Relationships are Stronger

Being alone means you are more confident in yourself. You might not like being alone but if you have to have someone around you all the time then you will not be comfortable in your life or your relationships.

When you are codependent on other people your actions revolve around them and you do not realize who you are or what you need. When you think that there is always someone there to take care of you then you become in a place that is hard and hurtful to you.

You have to remember that being in a good relationship means that you are in one that does not hold you back. You do not owe anyone anything.

People will sometimes feel that they are entitled to be treated a certain way because they feel that they are owed something. If someone accepts the role of being a friend or partner, they feel that they deserve special treatment and that they are entitled to certain things.

If someone is in the role of a parent, they feel entitled to their children obeying them and respecting them. If someone accepts the role of being a customer, they will feel that they are entitled to the best service and to what they need.

The truth is that people are not entitled in life. A healthy relationship means that you try your best to make people happy but sometimes people put limitations on love.

They think that if someone loves them, they will change, or they will do what they say but that is unhealthy love and is not a place for truth and peace to come in but a place for codependency.

We have to learn to be self-sufficient. This is the best thing you can do for yourself and you can take care of you and not need other people.

Alone Versus Loneliness

Being alone doesn’t mean that you have to be lonely and being lonely does not ever mean you are alone. Some people can be with a bunch of people and feel all alone or lonely.

The problem is not being alone, but the problem is not fitting in to where you feel that even being around others does not allow you to fit in. When you choose your relationships well and you go with someone that is good company to you, you will not be alone.

If you feel lonely while you are with your partner, chances are you picked someone that was not meant for you and you might need to move forward.

Decisions

When you do not have at account to others, you can make your own decisions. People will not always support the things you like or the goals you want to reach but you can follow your own heart and do your own things.

If your ideas are not someone else’s ideas, do them anyways. People are rarely wrong when they listen to their intuition. If things do not turn out how you hoped they would, at least you tried, and you learned from it.

You will know if your life is going down the right path because you will be excited for what your future holds.

Mindful

The hardest thing that we face is our ego. We have a hard time accepting who we are and we often distract ourselves with things that are hurtful to our bodies such as drugs or alcohol so that we do not have to think for ourselves and we can be distracted.

Sometimes we will do whatever it takes so that we can stop ourselves from having to face the world. We will work too much or sleep too much or have affairs or exercise too much. Some people will do whatever they can to avoid being alone and they will hang out with anyone and do anything they can, so they do not have to face it.

It never matters if this is a positive or a negative thing because doing this will wear you down over time.

Each person is prone to addictive behaviors and these can include avoiding who we are. We have to learn to acknowledge who we are and that we have a problem. We have to learn to face our fears and our problems and learn that we can fit in with ourselves if we are just who we are meant to be.

Conclusion

Being alone can be a scary thing but it can also ultimately bring you joy in the end. You can learn to enjoy your life and learn to grow as time goes on.

You will learn who you are, and you can do things that will help you to avoid conflict and help you to grow.

Do things such as go out in nature, pick up a hobby or redecorate your home. You will figure out who you are, and you will see that you do not have to have the world’s approval to be a better person.

Enjoy your own life and enjoy spending time just being who you are. Figure out what you like to do when you are alone and embrace that. Learn to do new things and learn who you really are. You will find out who you are and where you belong when you give yourself a chance to grow and succeed.

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When you Are Being Manipulative

Everyone has been manipulated at one time or another and no one wants to feel that they are manipulative to others. Some behaviors that people have are very common and some do not even realize it is manipulation. Maybe you use emotional coercion, and you don’t even realize it.

The way that we communicate takes on different forms and when we have subtle behaviors or silence, it can cause someone to have conversations without really addressing the situation. It is a strategic way that people talk and when you put someone else’s needs over your own, this can be hard to deal with.

One of the problems with having indirect communication is that it can cause problems in all of your relationships including your partner, family, and friends. When someone always has manipulative behaviors, it can lead to hurt and pain and can cause people to leave your life even if they don’t want to. This kind of behavior can lead to resentment.

Here are some habits that you might be doing and never even realize it. Open your eyes and help to save your relationships:

But Wouldn’t You?

One manipulative behavior that people have is pretending to make innocent suggestions. When a person says something without expressing what they are really meaning, this can be manipulation. Putting your own ideas and thoughts out there when you know someone else doesn’t feel the same is being manipulative. Ask the questions such as, “I want this, do you?” instead of saying, “Don’t you want this?”

Up to You

Another habit that many people have is pretending that you are giving someone a choice but putting your own opinion in your question. This shows that you are really making the choice and are not really giving the other person a chance to have their way.

Giving someone a choice when you want them to do something you want is being coercive. An example of this is, “I am wanting to watch this move, what do you want to watch?”

Forgetting

Do you ever have someone that is always forgetting to do something they are supposed to do? This can be a partner that “forgets” to do part of the chores and leaves you having to pick up the slack even when you are tired.

Of course, you should never pressure someone into doing something indirectly or make them feel guilty because this will be ineffective. Just ask them for help.

If you are always leaving things for your partner to do or for your co-workers to do and you are slacking on doing your part, you are being manipulative. Be honest with them and communicate why you are not getting things done.

Making Promises

Promising things that you cannot do is another manipulative habit. This happens because you want to please everyone, but you never follow through and it always leads to disappointment.

Doing this can make your friend or partner feel disappointed and angry and make you come across as a liar. If you don’t want to do something, just say so.

Do It Myself

Acting like you are a martyr is another form of manipulation. If you are pressuring someone into doing something and you say you will do it yourself to make them feel guilty, this is wrong.

Figure out a better way to ask them to do something and be straightforward with what you need.

Silence

Saying nothing or giving someone the silent treatment is also a form of manipulation. When you are upset or angry, or you feel that someone has hurt you or mistreated you, not discussing it is wrong as well.

This needs to be broken down and you need to talk about it and there needs to be an apology. If you need time to be by yourself and cool down, that is okay, but it shouldn’t be much time.

This kind of behavior usually comes from people that are hurt. People become manipulative when they are dealing it being hurt. If your partner or friend has a chance to explain their behavior and apologizes, then you will not have resentment later on in the relationship.

Always be careful how you talk to people and how you communicate your feelings.

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How to Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires

There will be people that come into your life and they will change your feelings and cause you to be stressed or feel bad about who you are. Chances are these people will make you lose your energy and make you wish that you hadn’t gotten out of bed that day.

These people are called energy vampires and they come in different forms in your life. This can be your co-worker that feels that everything is against her. She will tell you all of the ways that the world has done her wrong. Then there is the joker that makes themselves the center of all the attention and doesn’t let you have a say. The blamer is the person that blames everyone and makes them feel guilty for not even doing anything wrong.

The drama queen will tell you over and over what caused her to almost die or all the bad things that have happened to her in life.

No matter what kind of energy vampire you have come across, the truth is, you can walk away from them and not feel bad for it. Some of us have a hard time walking away because we don’t want to be rude or hurt people’s feelings.

There are ways you can end a conversation and leave it and still keep your energy before it is too late for you.

Signs

One of the best ways to learn about these people is to look for signs. If you feel stressed when someone walks into a room or you feel upset when they start talking, this is a sign to walk away. Maybe they call you and you get the same feelings. Do you get a headache or your chest tight?  Walk away from these people and get them out of your life.

Breathe

When you start feeling your energy leave or begin to feel stressed, take a deep breath. Allow yourself to breathe deep because this can take energy to your center. Learn to deal with how you feel and to be patient with your feelings.

The minute an energy vampire comes into the room you will begin to get tense. Take time to breathe and to let your stress out before it gets too deep.

Energies

Use your positive energy to fight against energy vampires. Imagine that there is a shield of energy around you and protecting you from negativity. Do not allow anyone to enter that zone that is not invited. Get rid of negative feelings.

Boundaries

Everyone should have boundaries, and this should even be in your everyday life. If someone is stealing your energy, stay away from them. If they start trying to upset you or make you mad, do not react and just walk away. You can stay neutral and not be around someone that bothers you.

Take it Back

Take a step back and ask yourself why you are upset with this person. The energies that you attract to yourself can be good people or it can be angry people. Pay attention to who is around you and who is causing you to feel the way that you feel.

Learn to avoid these kind of people because energy vampires will quickly drain you from your joy and your peace.

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