Everyone knows the story of the princess who is swept away by the prince and they live happily ever after. Though we are not living in a fairy tale kingdom, we do let this ideal seep into our lives. The goal of dating is to find this happily ever after or at least we think it should be. The problem is the fairy tales stop at the wedding. No one shares what happened after or about the prince working away from home or the princess growing up and changing as she aged. Contentment in the moment does not necessarily mean longevity for the relationship. Sometimes, we need to end those relationships that are “happy” because they are not what they once seemed.
The truth is that some relationships, even happy ones, are not meant to be forever. If you want a life partner, sometimes this means leaving behind someone with which you are ‘happy’. Satisfaction with a relationship is vital, but not all that needs to exist. There are a few signs that it may be time to end it and move on for both of you to find forever.
No Future
A relationship that is fun, but has little real commitment is great, but may not work long term. Sometimes the ‘happy’ relationships are little more than flings that are fun, laid back and easy, but not something that you see lasting into the future. This is a reason to end one, when you are ready to settle down long term. If fun and ease is what you want then have a fling, but if you want a lifelong commitment, look a bit deeper.
Conflicting Values
A relationship by definition is about compromise, but your values are not something that can be compromised. If your partner and you cannot agree on things like wanting kids or where to have a home, then it may be best to move on to a different type of relationship. Even if you are happy, values should never be compromised because it will lead to much larger conflicts over time. Enjoy it for the moment, but move on before getting to serious.
Long Distance
Long distance relationships have become much more common with internet access, but this can put a strain on even a ‘happy’ relationship. If chronic distance cannot be remedied in the foreseeable future, then even ‘happy’ relationships are likely to fail. LDRs require great patience, money, flexibility, and understanding so if you are not willing to commit to these things long term, move on.
Spender and Saver
Even if you are happy in a relationship, when it comes to money if you have different habits, it can become a problem. A spender and a saver rarely last long term because money becomes a huge issue. While it may be okay while you are dating, conflicting habits will come to a head in a committed marriage. Financial compatibility is a real necessity.
Career
Like it or not, careers are necessary and can tear apart a relationship. Even ‘happy’ couples can fall apart when jobs require relocation to different states, countries, or parts of the world. While you may be supportive of a change, it can affect your own career and lead to big problems.
Incompatible
People change and grow as they get older. This is just a fact of life as we find who we truly are and where life is taking us. Though we may be happy with someone at 16 or 21, we evolve into wanting something different at 30 and this is okay. Even happy relationships must sometimes end because you have evolved in different directions. Our beliefs, goals, and habits change as we grow and you may no longer line up with your partner.
Feel Tied Down
Though you may be otherwise ‘happy’ if your relationship seems to be stifling or smothering, ending it may be best for you and your partner. Your partner may not feel this way, but they deserve someone who appreciates what they are as well. Find someone that works for your situation and allows you to feel truly happy.
You Want a Change
Sometimes, we just want a new experience. Ending a ‘happy’ relationship so you can be alone awhile or date other people and play the field may should harsh, but sometimes it is what you need to know exactly what you want.
Not Sexually Fulfilling
Sometimes our sex lives do fall into a rut, this is normal. However, if the dry spell has become a long-term drought then it may be time to move on to something more fulfilling. Happiness is great, but sexual fulfillment is also important for the majority of people.
Other’s Opinions
There is a huge difference in being truly happy and looking like you are happy. If your relationship only looks happy to the outside world, then move on. Relationships are not about how other people perceive them; it is about the reality you live in each day.
Your Gut
Everything could seem perfect, but if your gut is telling you something is just not quite right, then never ignore it. Even if the relationship checks every box you have for yourself and you feel ‘happy’ much of the time, your gut is warning you about something. Listen to the little voice it will rarely steer you wrong.
Bringing a happy’ relationship to an end can be tough. This is especially true when you grow up hearing you need to find someone who makes you happy. Still, long term happiness is much more important than happiness in this moment. Never apologize for making this tough decision, even if someone you love has to be cut loose.