If you have ever encountered self-loathing, self-hatred or low self-esteem, you might have had thoughts like “I hate myself.” “I’m not good enough.” “I don’t excel in everything I do.” It can be demoralizing to have these thoughts and can lead to serious depression or other mental problems.

Are your self-hating thoughts problematic?

We have all had thoughts of self-hatred if not once or twice. Having a bit of self-consciousness is a good thing. It meaning we put our shortcomings into consideration. It is this awareness that contributes to our ability to be compassionate towards others. the most important part of growth and maturity is self-critique.

The problem comes when thoughts like; I don’t love myself dominate thinking.  You can be asked a few questions:

  • Do your self –hatred thoughts make it hard for you to achieve your goals of function well in life?
  • Can I do away with these thoughts or does it look like they just come into my head without permission?
  • Am I going through worthless moments, depression or, just general darkness that is linked to these thoughts?

How to cope with self-hating thoughts

Self-hatred and low self-esteem have certain degrees. Some of us just encounter these thoughts and feelings intermittently. To some, it is not easy to get a handle on since self-loathing is a constant reality. It doesn’t matter what the case might be, nobody should feel like they just have to cope with these feelings.

Believing that you deserve better is not easy, more so if you have lived with low-self-esteem for long. However, it’s possible to feel good about yourself and to just do away with those “I hate myself” thoughts.

Below are ways you can get started:


This idea of meditation may sound relaxing especially to someone who has dark racing thoughts. However, unlike well-known belief, meditating doesn’t need you to stop thinking. It wants you to keep noticing them. You should become more mindful of your thoughts and then decide what to do with them, whether to ignore them, acknowledge them or react to them.


At times the only way to release our thoughts is just moving them from inside our head to a different medium. You don’t have to write complete sentences to do journaling. Just take 5 minutes and write everything that’s going on in your mind, it can be therapeutic and is likely to give you a little perspective.

Speak to a counselor

Knowing where your self-hatred originates from is not easy and for many of us, we prefer doing so under the care of a therapist. A good counselor may help you know why you have low self-esteem.

They can even help you with things you can to heal. I know it’s not easy to speak to a therapist for the first time, but trust you me, a therapist knows it all and cannot judge you.

Be around positive people

You should know how some people have contributed to your negative thoughts especially when you are in the process of understanding your feelings of self-loathing. Choose to be around people who uplift you and inspire you to do better. You will lead a happy life when you have these people to guide you.

Anxiety, just reading the name alone can trigger its symptoms for so many of us!  The worry, fear, and nervousness are felt at multiples levels and can be expressed in a variety of ways.  Emotional expression of anxiety can be one of panic.  Mentally anxiety cause us to ruminate over our concerns causing a state of analysis paralysis.  Physically, hearts can race and breathing becomes shallower.  Our bodies can begin sweating, trembling and contribute to a lowering of our immune system.  The good news is that there are simple ways to help ease the effects of anxiety.  Read on, and try the following four ways to reduce the effect of anxiety in your life.

  1. Don’t Forget to Breathe!

During an anxiety attack people become so consumed by their worries that they forget the simple act of breathing.  Although it may feel difficult, when the concerns start clouding your ability to be you, create a moment of rest and taking a mindful cleansing breath.  This act will shift your focus back to the present where you have the ability to take immediate steps to fix your issues.

If you have more time to devote to mindful breathing, consider creating a grounding mantra.  Mantras can help you settle more deeply into your breathing and allow you to experience greater relaxation.  Breathing exercises in general, allow people to focus more on the present and creates space to listen to one’s Inner Voice.

Begin by getting into a comfortable position and close your eyes.  Mindfully, inhale slowly and then exhale equally as slow through your nose.  Focus on this present moment.  Allow a mantra to come into your mind that brings you a sense of direction and comfort.  On your next inhale visualize the first half of the mantra.  On the next exhale visualize the second half.  Repeat tying your mantra to your breath for a few more cycles.  When you feel calmer, open your eyes, slowly release from your position, and return to your daily routine.

  1. Nonjudgmentally Explore the Roots of Your Insecurities

Anxiety is a vicious cycle.  We worry and therefore release adrenaline that can tax our body and causes us to worry more.  We can be so caught in this loop that we fail to look at what is really bothering us and why.  To begin to ease the effects of anxiety we must understand what is really behind our concerns and why.  It is important to create space and time to explore your thoughts and feelings without feelings of shame or guilt.  One of the best ways to process your thoughts, feelings and emotions is by writing in a journal.  You might also find working with a therapist or trusted confidante to be especially helpful at not just understand what is going on in your mind, but how to create steps towards healing.

  1. Understand What you Can and Cannot Fix

Do you often find yourself worrying about things that are illusions or unlikely to occur?  It happens to us all from time to time, but there is little benefit from focusing on unrealistic thoughts.  Instead of fixating on these nerve-wracking illusions, choose to focus on aspects of your life that are within your control.  The unknown is scary, but it also can provide us valuable lessons.  Greet the crossroads in your life with a sense of gratitude and preparedness.  By create small simple steps toward success on your journey you can help ease the “gremlins” or limiting beliefs in your mind.

Consider a fear of meeting a new person after being hurt in a previous relationship.  Begin by thanking the universe for no longer wasting your precious time and energy on an unfulfilling romance.  If you have one main interest that you couldn’t share with your last partner consider focusing your dating search around this key passion of yours.  This way instead of feeling anxiety prior to a date and being consumed by thoughts of if and how this new person could hurt you, you can breathe and focus on how this new person experience joy from your shared passion.  By centering your attitude around positivity, you can feel more in control and peaceful when facing a new scenario.

  1. Ground Yourself!

If you find your anxiety spiking, breathe and focus your attention onto something that brings you peace.  Try listening to music, going for a walk, meditating. or being creative.  By finding enjoyment and peace you can better regulate your heartrate and breathing.  Soon you will find your concerns being transformed into something more productive, and you can begin to heal yourself in a proactive way.